Crackdown

A fun distraction, but cracks in this fun title bring it down.

US Release Date: 2007
Genre(s): Action, Third-Person Shooter, Adventure
Platform(s): Xbox 360
Version Reviewed: Xbox 360
Publisher(s): Microsoft Game Studios
Developer(s): Realtime Worlds
# of Players: 1-2
ESRB Rating: Mature - Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Use of Drugs

Story: Welcome to Pacific City, Agent. Violent gangs have taken over the streets and the police force is undermanned and outgunned. As an experimental supersoldier, it's up to you to put out the raging flames of corruption...with bigger flames. More specifically, with automatic weapons, powerful explosives, and superhuman kung fu grip. You're basically RoboCop, except you have the ability to jump much higher. And you're also not an undead cyborg.

Beyond that, the story is pretty paper-thin: there's nothing here besides the orders of your disembodied boss, who mostly just instructs you to assassinate gang leaders and their various underlings (as if you were really going to do anything else). There is no bitter crusade for vengeance, no journey to discover a hidden treasure, no engrossing side-quests. There isn't even any time limit or driving force to motivate you to complete the primary story missions, which ends up being fine, because these events don't add anything mind-blowing to the plot anyway. Forming any sort of sympathy or understanding for any of the characters - even your own - is more or less impossible. But when you're so busy having fun taking out the criminal trash, who really cares? If you're into a style-over-substance game that's basically the exact opposite of reading a book, then "Crackdown" will definitely be right up your alley.

As an Agent, you hate crime almost as much as you hate sidewalks.
Graphics: Say what you will about cel-shading in video games, there's no denying that when it's done effectively - as a gimmick or otherwise - it creates an undeniably sleek-looking piece of eye candy. Everything from your character, to the soaring skyscrapers of this crime-ridden metropolis, to the bright and abundant explosions that litter the screen - all of it's bordered with bold, black lines and significant style. Each gang's turf adds its own unique visual flavor to the sprawling tapestry that is Pacific City, making landmarks and territories easy to identify. Sometimes standing on the top of a towering high-rise and just taking in the vibrant, stretching cityscape is enough to blow your socks right off. Maybe even a toe hair or two.

Unfortunately, not everything in "Crackdown" has received the same level of high-gloss attention: there are semi-frequent instances of jagged edges, things glitching through other things they shouldn't be, and a whole lot of recycled environments and layouts marring the shiny surface of something that could have been considered visually above-average if not for these issues. Still, there's definitely more than enough flashy, volatile craziness unfolding on the screen at any given moment to outweigh the mediocre elements apparent here.

Eager to prove himself in his first M-rated game, Mario sports a new hairdo and steroid-enhanced jumping ability.
Sound/Music: If there's one thing that screams rushed and unfinished in "Crackdown," it's the subpar music and sound design. Every gun sounds tinny and weak, giving off the impression that your character is paintballing gang members to death (which would admittedly be an incredibly crappy way to go). The soundtrack is comprised mostly of ambient, trancey tunes, and generic-sounding industrial electorock - overall, nothing memorable. Even the voice acting, which is incredibly limited, is also incredibly forgettable, lacking any real energy or soul. In fact, some of the voice actors sound downright bored to be a part of this story; but, in all honesty, who can blame them? The script has no plot.

Gameplay: With development of "Crackdown" helmed by original "Grand Theft Auto" creator David Jones, it's no wonder that the free-roaming, carjacking, gun-blasting craziness is strong with this one. Much like GTA, the mission system can be accessed anytime the player feels appropriate. Prefer to beat up random thugs to add new weapons to your arsenal? Go for it. Like completing random side-missions to increase your skills? The world is your oyster. Want to take on the head-honcho, badass boss right off the bat? That's all you, champ. No matter how you choose to play it, "Crackdown" never pressures you with time limits or the constraints of silly fetch quests. Rest assured, you can be your own man/woman/sentient creature with this one.

Side-quests mainly consist of timed checkpoint races (both on foot and in cars), although various achievement points can be unlocked by completing random tasks, such as discovering hidden supply depots or pulling off stunts in any of the game's various vehicles. Unfortunately, these are mild distractions at best, really only meant for hardcore completionists (a.k.a. achievement/trophy whores), and rarely serve as anything more than mindless time-wasters. To call them "side-quests" at all is rather misleading, as they completely lack substance and the rewards for finishing them are meager in comparison to the amount of work the player has to put in.

Even the main missions, especially the sub-boss and boss fights, are passengers aboard the snore-train's one-way voyage to Snoreville. While there's some light "strategy" elements to these - which really just consist of weakening an area's main boss by taking out their lieutenants/sub-bosses - most battles involve standing somewhere somewhat out of the line of fire and unloading clip after clip of ammo into your target's clueless dome-piece. In case you need backup for these underwhelming encounters, online co-op is available, allowing a second Agent to jump into these lackluster face-offs. Now you can both share in the delight of unrelenting repetition. You can even ramp up the difficulty level, so you can really get your bathing suit areas kicked in, adding frustration to the already redundant quests. Yay?

Fortunately, the most fun that can be found in "Crackdown" isn't dictated by any mission parameters, but rather by how much of an obsessive hoarder you are. Almost every action you complete yields experience "orbs" that your character uses to increase proficiency in five main fields: agility (how fast you can run/how far and high you can jump), strength (how hard you can punch in an enemy's face/how far you can throw increasingly heavier things), driving (how awesome your Agency vehicles are), explosives (how big of a blast you can make and how much it hurts), and firearms (how accurate you can shoot). What types of orbs you run across are determined by what you decide to do. For instance, shoot a gang member in the face, and chances are he'll drop a bunch of orbs that will level up your firearms skill. However, choose to throw a car at the same enemy's face like you're the effing Hulk, and bask in the bounty of strength orbs. How you choose to play will determine how badass your character is at different things, and to be honest, it's a hell of a lot of fun just combing the streets for trouble in a quest to max out your skills. Hidden bonus orbs scattered about the city are also available to stumble upon, and seeking them out will keep you busy for hours.

Your enemies' tactics involve charging directly into your line of fire, resembling the behavior of drunk girls at a party swarming an iPod that doesn't belong to them and putting on Carly Rae Jepsen.
Overall: Take one part "Grand Theft Auto," one part action-RPG, and one part goofy-ass cartoon, and you've got yourself "Crackdown": a ride worth taking, if you can overlook some of its more glaring issues and just appreciate it for the intense power fantasy that it is. While the content isn't deep in any sort of way, there's hours and hours worth of crap to do in Pacific City. If you end up maxing out all your stats, the ability to walk around kicking the ass of anyone and anything you see is well worth the grinding. Ironically-named, "Crackdown" is one hell of an addicting sandbox-style gaming fix.

Rating (out of 5): 3.5

Official Trailer

Mass Effect

Massively effective at being awesome.

US Release Date: 2007
Genre(s): Action-RPG, Third-Person Shooter
Platform(s): Xbox 360, PC
Version Reviewed: Xbox 360
Publisher(s): Microsoft Game Studios
Developer(s): BioWare
# of Players: 1
ESRB Rating: Mature - Blood, Language, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes, Violence

Story: You are Commander Shepard, a burly, gorilla of a military man who kicks ass and asks questions later. Or maybe you're Commander Shepard, a silky-voiced, smooth-talkin', interstellar player, who gets it on with alien babes in between negotiations with extraterrestrial thugs. You might even be Commander Shepard, the most ruthlessly cold-hearted douchebag to ever not give a flying eff about the troubles of the galaxy - as long as you get paid, you're happy. Character creation and player choice: these are just the beginning of the many freedoms "Mass Effect" offers up in spectacular fashion.

Regardless of who you choose to be, the main storyline still ensures that players experience one of the most epic, engrossing space operas available in any medium - think "Star Wars," "The Fifth Element," and your favorite junk food of all time rolled into an ultimate and beautiful concoction of deliciousness, and available for instant consumption. Except this is the type of adventure you'll want to savor, because cruising around the gigantic expanse of space in the SSV Normandy, exploring foreign worlds, and blasting all manner of alien scum into oblivion is both gratifying and intense.

The main plot kicks off with you (Commander Shepard) taking up the mantle of Spectre (think "space special forces/badass") and hunting down a traitorous former member of the elite order, who basically dicked everyone else in the universe over. Hard. Alongside said evil douche is a malevolent race of robotic monstrosities known as the "geth" and they are out to eff up your day, all day, every day. Your hands are very, very full right off the bat.

After that, anything can happen. Side-quests rear their heads ad nauseum, promising gratifying rewards and adding volumes upon volumes of lore to this massive mythology, and choosing who you meet, who to save, who to kill, and how to handle each unique situation not only affects the current story, but also the two equally-enthralling sequels. That's right: this game is the jumping-off point of one of the most beloved trilogies in modern gaming, and your decisions in each iteration alters the events of the next. So strap your big boy (or girl) pants on, and get ready to hunker down for the long haul. In truth, this game will give back as much as you put into it, with literally hours of additional details and backstories that can be uncovered at any moment, but none of this is required to progress through the main story - however, those patient and dedicated enough to see how deep the rabbit hole goes will definitely get the most rewarding experience from this journey. Regardless of your extraneous actions, everything culminates into a series of intense plot twists and hardcore boss battles, with the promise of more to come. But you already knew that, because, well, the game has two sequels out already.

This Geth Shock Trooper plays a very important part to the story: shoot that mother-effer dead!
Graphics: As impressive to me today as they were the first time I played this game, the graphics in "Mass Effect" are beautiful and oftentimes stunning. The environments are breathtaking, bringing to life alien worlds so vast and imaginative that their nonexistence is almost impossible to believe.

Character models, both human and otherwise, are notable as well: for instance, when Commander Shepard is in the middle of an intense firefight with geth soldiers, it's clearly apparent when he craps his pants. Not really, but the characters' motions and facial movements in and out of battle are commendably realistic, so it's just as cool to watch their mouths moving along to dialogue as it is to watch them jump out from behind cover to smash an attacking enemy in the face with a well-timed shotgun round. Another awesome touch is that each character accurately reflects their current weapons and armor loadout in-game; it's these wonderful, little visual nuances that make "Mass Effect" really stand out as something special.

Explosions, weapon blasts, and all manner of lighting, reflections, shadows, etc. are done expertly. There's the occasional graphical glitch, or moment or two of slowdown as the Xbox 360's engine is temporarily overwhelmed, but with so much brilliant eye candy to be had, it's rarely detrimental to the visual feast. This game will make sweet, sweet love to your optic nerves, and there's no shame in enjoying it.

Little known fact: that "visor" Shepard wears is actually one huge corrective lens that he uses for his nearsightedness.
Sound/Music: It's not going to win any Grammy nominations, but the score here is certainly appropriate for a space romp such as this. If you're into ambient electronica grooves à la "Blade Runner" and stirring "Halo"-esque orchestral pieces, then the soundtrack might have you feeling a little bit on the aroused side (I wouldn't call this a bad thing).

As far as voice work goes, "Mass Effect" is spot on, offering up a cast of actors who prove more than adept at infusing the perfect amount of inflection, tone, and personality into the unprecedented amount of dialogue available. It honestly helps us care even more about the characters we've been (misguidedly) entrusted to keep alive.

Gameplay: Anyone who's played BioWare's previous masterpiece "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic" will be familiar with the three-man (or woman/alien) squad-based mechanics that make up most of the gameplay in "Mass Effect." Except this time, instead of entering RPG-style commands into a queue, the action is in real-time, playing out more like a third-person shooter than a true action-RPG. You'll be able to utilize a plethora of firearms and powers to blast your enemies into tiny bits, but it'll be up to you to aim them.

Unfortunately, equipping said weapons is somewhat of a cumbersome process, with a clunky menu system that ends up being more time-consuming than helpful, requiring literally hours of adjustments to be made over the course of the game. Fortunately, assigning new skill points to various powers and abilities is a blast, and fairly simplistic - leveling up your character into a specialist of some sort is too fun, and experimenting with each crew member is great. However, this is definitely a bountiful buffet of RPG-fattiness that caters more to action-oriented, Western appetites, rather than the level-grinding sensibilities of the JRPG crowd.

While it's great that most of your time is spent throttling baddies and learning sweet, new skills, the squad AI is an utter disappointment: the few times your teammates will actually listen to the commands you give them, it will prevent them from doing anything else useful (i.e. taking cover), and chances are they will die from time to time because of this. Good gravy, that's frustrating. Fortunately, as you level characters up, many of them become unstoppable tanks, and the epic strength you and your minions wield is empowering enough to compensate for any lack of true tactics. The unfortunate part is that they'll still be capable of falling victim to infuriating programming errors, such as glitching through rocks, doors, etc. and forcing a reload of an earlier save file. If you don't mind doing this once every ten or so hours, then you shouldn't have too much of a problem though. Either that, or just stay the eff away from all rocks and doors.

Outside of combat, the rest of your time will be spent exploring space for side-quests and uncharted planets, and engaging in dialogue with various NPCs. And holy crap, are there a lot of NPCs to talk to. When engaging in conversation, you'll more times than not be given multiple responses to choose from, and there are a number of outcomes available based on how you speak to the other character: you may earn experience points or money, alter the storyline of this and all subsequent games, or maybe just shit on their day, like the briny jackass we all know you are. You may even be able to avoid violent confrontations almost completely...but not all of them (sorry pacifists, at some point you need to blow a hole in somebody's head). Your responses may push your built-in "morality meter" toward either the "good" side ("Paragon") or the "bad" side ("Renegade"), and either direction can net you some sweet perks and exclusive abilities. Regardless, having people blab your ears off is a huge part of the game, so get used to doing as much negotiating (or lack thereof) as fighting.

In his downtime, Commander Shepard enjoys spending his days fist-pumping with bros on the Jersey Shore.
Overall: So what can we learn from this unnecessarily long review? It's simple: "Mass Effect" is a ridiculously well-executed sci-fi action-RPG that will easily and greedily suck away at least a few dozen hours of your life if you're weak-willed enough to let it. This option is all the more tantalizing due to the fact that you can create a new game plus file at the end and start the space-party all over again, even as a brand-new face with extra abilities. If you're a fan of third-person shooters, action-RPGs, space operas, or even being an intergalactic jack-off (seriously), then this is one odyssey you need to embark on.

Rating (out of 5): 4.5

Official Trailer